Health Matters When You Think About It! 

I'm not gonna waste a lot of time discussing the importance of eating healthy, getting plenty of exercise and living a clean life, because I never did do those things very well, therefore, I'm paying for it now!

What a Hippocratic oaf I would be, if I lectured you sweet people on the benefits of healthy living, when I, my own self, sucked at it, my whole life!

Example...

From time immemorial EVERYBODY told me to stand up straight. My mom, relatives...my teachers would write it on my report cards..."poor posture".."he slumps"...did I pay attention? NOOOOOOOO! I thought they were all picking on me, so I rebelled and walked even more bent over!

Now, look at me! I walk like Igor and I'm stuck that way! You know, like when your mom said, "stop making that face or it will stay that way!"

It's absolutely true! 

Example 2...

I always ate whatsoever I durn well pleased, with no limits to the proportions! I would go to a buffet somewhere, and fill my plate 3 times!!

Of course, now I'm Diabetic Danny, and I HAVE to limit my proportions, and NOT eat the delicious, high carb and sugary foods that I gorged on in my past life.

Example 3...

Exercise kinda went to the wayside after my army days, and my muscles went, uh, who knows where? Maybe they're under the couch cushions? Anyway, I hope I never have to run for my life! Godzilla would eat me real quick-like! 

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I got a covid test yesterday, due to the fact that I have to get ANOTHER colonoscopy again, Thursday, it's been a few years, and I started thinking about health stuff and, well, just felt like it, my fiends!!

Ordinary, run of the mill, fiend, for your edification.

 He actually looks pretty fit!

Billions Of Bloggadocious 222 Fans Bummed!

Billions of Bloggadocious 222 fans were totally puzzled, confused and verklempt, when last Friday's blog was NOT posted, for some unexplained reason.

The author had "no comment" when questioned by our seasoned citizen reporter.

However, the disenfranchised fans had a LOT to say...

Mary - "I always look forward to the Friday posting of Bloggadocious 222 to carry me through the weekend! I needed to visit my shrink 3 times on Saturday, which is actually less than my usual 4 times, but I know I'm messed up enough to sue SOMEBODY!"

Fred - "Soze, I goes to my smartphone, for my Friday dose of Danny's nonsense, and shoot far, nuthin' honey! I thought, what the!! Did Danny contact that covid? Heck and high water would not stop him from his bodacious blog!! I was brokenhearted and dumbfounded all stinkin' day!!"

Snowflake - "Wow, man! It was, like, NO FRIDAY BLOG! Like, mind blown!! Like, bummer supreme, dude!! Bloggadocious 222 is my freakin' guide to my life, man!! I was lost, man, until  I stumbled into the weed shop!!"

Percy - "Having Bloggadocious 222 missing from my Friday reading experience was disconcerting to the utmost. In a civilized society, we need a bit of uncivil drivel to balance our fragile psyches."

Bosco - "Well, I happen to know that Danny was just bein' lazy last Friday, and didn't give a wit about his sufferin', needy fans. He's a bad, bad Leroy Brown, when he's off his meds!!

Disclaimer: The strange person responsible for this blog is just estimating his fan base as in the billions, a more reasonable number could be 32 wacky friends. Nevertheless, billions is only a figurative, imaginary, wishful number that Danny Boy actually feels in his heart. Any attempt to verify the legitimate  figure will be met with a barrage of verbal poor excuses. 

Readership...Smeadership!

To be totally transparent, oft times I choose a blog title that grabs your attention to increase my readership. 

That's REALLY stupid, because my readership, pretty much, stays the same, no matter what I do!

I'm not complaining, but only making a statistically backed observation, that informs myself NOT to put so much time and effort into the stinking title!

You're most likely thinking, "Danny, what difference does it make if you get a lot of readers? The fact that we are amused by your outlandish blog is all that matters, right?"

Well, it all started in Kindergarten. I was a social loner, who kinda envied the popular kids, and thought that being high on the social ladder was a mark of greatness. even though I know that's a false concept in my old age.

Nevertheless, I must still have a slight twinge of that desire for popularity in the deepest part of my soul, which causes me to occasionally beg for more readers. 

I apologize. Especially to all of you who have stuck with my blog for all of these millennia. Never doubt the fact that I really, really appreciate your faithfulness and sticktoitiveness! 

Faithfulness and sticktoitiveness has the same meaning, doesn't it? Sorry for being so redundant and repetitive. 

I think I did it again, but that's okay and alright. 

Where was I? You don't know? Haven't you been paying attention? 

Now I merember!  

Vast, uncountable readership is a lifelong goal I need to mitigate, in this pandemic atmosphere! 

Just like the ancient story of the spider monkey and the Llama, I need to be satisfied with what I have, and not gripe about what could be!

Okay, there's no such story of a spider monkey and a Llama, but I needed you to believe there is, for some unexplained reason.

In conclusion, one in the hand is worth two in the bush, don't take any wooden nickels, look before you leap, and try to apply all those old sayings as much as humanly possible! 

They're pretty good advice, even in 2020!

Out Of This World Wednesday .......... Be Prepared For Anythang!

When we ponder the exciting, death defying adventures of our Glirkazoid friends, Gary and Rosie, we contemplate on how super privileged we are to meditate on ALL the past episodes of Out Of This World Wednesday, and how it made us feel to virtually travel through spaze and tom, as if we were part of this extra-terrestrial team!

Or not.  

As you undoubtedly recall from last week, our heroes have cut their vacation short, out of boredom, and are awaiting orders from the Glirkazoid High Command, whilst they get their s%# in order.

Gary - "Why are we getting our s%# in order so soon? We don't even know what s%# we'll need on our next mission!"

Rosie - "The Glirka-scouts always taught me to "be prepared" for ANYTHANG that may unexpectedly occur at any moment in time, and catch us off guard, WITHOUT our s%# in order!"

Gary - "Okay, you bring the equipment, food, weapons, and such, and I'll check them off the list."

Just an example of common check list.

Rosie - "Very well! I'll be back in a few momentos!"

Enjoy this music whilst we wait for Rosie.

Gary - "I hope Rosie comes back soon! This intermission music is horrifically boring!!"

Rosie - "I'm baaaack! Here are a few items we will need, no matter what, or where, or when the mission will be! So, I'll name them off and you can check them off the list."

Gary - "No probleemo, Roseemo!"

Rosie - "Six small photon blasters."

Gary - "Check ✅"

Rosie - "Two LARGE photon blasters."

Gary - "Check, check ✅"

Rosie - "Portable Food Eracasakle for eating in the wilderness."

Gary - "Good thinkin', Rosie! Why don't you fire that thang up now! I'm hungry!!"

Rosie - "Good grief, you're ALWAYS hungry! Just say CHECK!"

Gary - "check ✓"

Rosie - "Stop your pouting and I'll "eracasackle" a Cosmic Corn Dog for ya, big baby!"

Gary - "CHECK ✅✅✅"

I don't know about you guys and gals, but I think Gary is a tiny bit spoiled, Rosie will be TOTALLY prepared for whatever mission comes down the pike, the Supreme Glirkazoid High Command will order a dooozy of a mission for our buddies, and, well, uh, a corn dog sounds real good right now!

Be back next week for the amazing adventures of...