Yes! I'm Carrying On In Spite Of......... YOU KNOW WHAT!

I'm carrying on with my hysterically FUNNY blog today, because that is what "Maha Rushie" would want me to do.

In fact, I'm hoping that throughout all these past few years, "The Truth Detector" watched all my videos, listened to my classic bits on the Greg and Dan Show, and read my internationally famous blog.

I can only imagine that in a few days the EIB network will contact me with an offer I will not be able to refuse. 

Yes! You guessed it! They will want me to replace "The Great One" because "The Big Guy" wrote in his diary I would be the best fit...due to my wit...and behind the "Golden Microphone" I should sit...no ship, Sherlock! 

Of course, ALL this is in my vivid imagination, but like my mom always said, "anything is possible, Danny boy!"

The only problem is she would say that when I asked her if monsters would eat me on the way to school! 

Me taking over as the new "Doctor Of Democracy" is not as far fetched as it sounds, folks! 

Here are some bullet points for your perusing...(I shouldn't use "bullet" should I?...I'll use "blanks" points)

I think there's a double meaning here, but I can't remember what it is.

Blanks points...

1. I'm the same age as the "Master Entertainer" was! 70 years of agedness.

2. We are both Missouri boys.

3. Both of us struggled with our weight over the last 30 years or more.

4. He was considered "The Most Dangerous Man On Talk Radio" and I'm considered the most dangerous man on the Greg and Dan Radio Show!

5. Even though the the Rush-man was not good lookin', he had a beautiful wife, same as me!

In conclusion, if you don't see me around for a spell, I'll probably be on a private jet to Palm Beach to become the new "El Rushbo!"

What do you mean, "no way?"

I'm putting faith in my mom's frequent encouragement...no, not the thing about anything being possible...but, when she said, "you can run away from home any time, but NO CROSSING STREETS!"

See ya, on the airwaves!!!!

Out Of This World Wednesday 

Regeneration Utilization!

Spectrum of spaze ↑

As our beloved Glirkazoid good guys, Rosie and Gary (although Rosie ain't no guy), traverse through the vast reaches of the endless spectrum of spaze, in the technically advanced Silver Sausage spazeship, we relish the sights and sounds of the interior of the ship. (We mustard them as well)

Gary

                         Rosie

The technically advanced Silver Sausage spazeship. 

The familiar sight and sound of the ion particle replication defrictionator, sounding like a pooglu beast, and resembling a strange elephant with 18 arms, dancing on a rat.

Now we see and hear the vibrating cull shield, bright pink, green, yellow and purple, with a high pitched vibration that only Glirkazoid Masters can detect. So, if you can hear it, you're a Glirkazoid Master! No?

At last, we stumble upon the pulsating Emulsificator Cannon, that is able to emulsificate ANY Class C warship, as long as their cull shield is disabled. 

A close up view of the powerful Emulsificator Cannon, I think.

Maybe it's the "head." 

The "head" is a ship's potty, so don't mix them up and emulsificate your butt, OR short circuit a valuable weapon!

Gary - "Oh how I relish the sights and sounds of the Silver Sausage spazeship, Rosie!"

Rosie - "Well, don't put on too much relish, Gary. You'll clog up the advanced technology, buddy. 

Gary - "Ha ha! At least you didn't use the lame mustard joke, like the deep voiced narrator.  

Rosie - "Yeah. By the way, that deep voiced narrator is always watching us and making comments. It kinda gives me the creeps."

Gary - "I'm used to him/her...I don't know what gender the DVN is, but he/she grew on me after  awhile."

Rosie - "I was wondering what caused that ugly "growth" on your little body. Oh, wait, that's your head! Ha ha! (Gary's head should not be confused with the "ship's head") That would be uncomfortable. 

Gary - "Maybe you haven't noticed, after our billions of yartrips together, but I REALLY don't have a head like you. I pretty much have elongated eyes on a body that has a mouth. No head to speak of." 

Rosie - "Ewwwww! I never noticed that, Gary!! Wow! What a hideous creature you've proved to be!!! 

Gary - "Okay. Your sarcasm is duly noted, girl."

Rosie - "Laugh out loud! Did you think, after countless missions together, I never noticed you are headless? Ha ha! In fact, I think your design is kinda cute."

Gary - "Kinda cute? How can I strike paralyzing fear into our opponents, if I'm kinda cute? Maybe I need a "body regeneration" like our comrade, Wilbur, had?"

Wilbur

Rosie - "Are you kidding me? Wilbur's mother is frightened of him now! Little kidlets run screaming from Wilbur!"

Gary - "Maybe that would be a bit much, Rosie! I guess I'll just strike fear in those flagrant litterbugs on planet Z70 with the use of our POWERFUL weapons!!" 

Rosie - "Did you forget our secret plan, Gary? NO, weapons...NO bombs...NO emulsification...

Gary - "Oh, yeah! What was that secret plan again?"

Rosie - "I can't tell you now. The nosy narrator will hear it, and tell the dirty, filthy litterbugs on Z70, before we arrive!"

Well now. The "nosy narrator" is a bit verklempt at the false accusation from my former friend, Rosie.

How dare she think I'm a big mouth, secret teller to ANYONE that asks me! 

Narrators have feelings too, and I am a bit shocked and hurt, that my old friends would suspect me of sharing secret mission plans with...

Rosie - "Okay!!! Okay!!! I'll share the mission plan with you, if you just shut up!!!  We are planning to use the "body regenerator" to turn the Z70 population into super-goats, that have the amazing ability to eat every single bit of litter, trash, and garbage...and then, regenerate them back to thier original forms. So there, Mr. DVN!!!!

Hey, that's a cool plan! No one will hear your "super-goat" plan from me!

I'll absolutely NOT share your "super-goat" idea with the inhabitants of Z70, because I have INTEGRITY, my Glirkazoid friends!!

Can you imagine if the whole population of Z70 found out you'll be turning them into goats? What a worldwide rebellion you'd have on your hands!! So, my lips are sealed!

Rosie and Gary - "We're doomed!"

  

Who Believes This Stuff?

This is a fervent plea for sanity, in a world that has gone totally bonkers!

Of course, you guys and gals are thinking, "sanity?"

"Danny Madness is calling for sanity? What a larf!!"

I know, I know my dysfunctional brain comes up with lots of krazy stuff, but I'm only kidding, folks!

There are individuals and groups out there that absolutely believe in really wacky crappolla!

For instance, that lizard-like, shape shifting creatures have turned themselves into political leaders to eventually take over our planet and eat the inhabitants. 

Wow! How far fetched!

Another fantastically unbelievable thang that some folks totally believe is that the evil government is putting little computer chips in the corona virus vaccine, or even worse, the evil government is in league with Satan, and the chips are in reality...THE MARK OF THE BEAST!!!!!!

Ha ha! How STUPID! If this really was an evil government/Devil plot, people would be showing telltale signs of the wicked shot!

A lot of gullible suckers STILL think McDonalds burgers are made from mealworms! Laugh out loud!!!

However, I'm a bit concerned when I cut a Micky D's burger in half, the halves crawl off in opposite directions. 

Remarkably, a vast majority of the public actually think police officers have a quota to reach at the end of the month, and will likely stop you for speeding before the month concludes. 

Just look around! Do you see more cop cars at the end of the month? 

Never mind. 

I'm more than glad to dispel these ridiculous, far fetched beliefs, that seem to permeate the soft skulls of the vast masses of the inhabitants of earth. 

I'm so thankful that I'm above all that nonsense.

Cartoon does NOT represent me! Not exactly. 

Okay, It's REALLY Cold Now! 

Just when we thought we were out of winter, it pulls us back in, just like John Wick.

 

This video rated BU for blowing up something.

A little snow, a little ice, can almost be a little nice, but when the ice and snow are vicious, a big heat wave is what our wish is!

I created that poem with my own brain. 

Who said, "that's a terrible poem?"

Okay then..A little snow, a little ice, can almost be a little nice, but when the ice and snow are BAD, when it's done we're glad, glad, glad! 

Who said, "even worse?"

Alright...A little snow, a little ice, can almost be a little nice, but when the ice and snow do last, I always fall down on my ... keister!

Oh, you like this one, hmm?

Anyway, I just want to tell you the two things I REALLY despise about COLD, FREEZING winter!

2. Sitting down on the cold toilet seat. Don't tell me to get a heated potty seat or turn the heat up to 62. With these super high heating bills, we can't afford it! Chihuahua!!

1. The #1 super frigid thang I hate to do is getting in a bitterly cold car when it's 20 below zero!!!!

No, I don't have a heated garage, a remote car starter, or nuttin' honey! 

Just thinkin' about it makes me literally shiver...me timbers!! 

I've always dreamed of having the heated garage and toasty warm home, and frequently told myself, "one day" we'll have ALL that stuff. 

Well, I'm 70, and still freezing my butt off! 

I'm almost positive Illinois is colder than Idaho!

"The more things change, the more they stay the same."

In 1849, French writer Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr wrote  “plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose “ – the more things change, the more they stay the same…

I have NEVER understood that quote, but I thought it, somehow, fit here.