Happy Birthday Greg Batton 

Our Link To Alien Visitors And More

The mysteries that surround Greg Batton are so, um, mysterious!

How did he become the most iconic radio personality in Peoria, Illinois?

Didn't he grow up in the infamous little backwater town of Pekin, Illinois, where nobody comes from, except for Susan Dey and Senator Everett Dirksen?

How could someone from the inconspicuous, Florida Atlantic University (go Fighting Owls, or is it Atlantic Owls, I forget), soar to such prominence as the most influential, radio talk show host in Central, Illinois?

Doesn't all of this cause you to question EVERYTHING you know about the odds of things happening, pure dumb luck, and ancient astronaut theories?

Yes! I said it! Our birthday boy has admitted on air, to about a million mesmerized listeners, that it was prophesied he would be the designated greeter to visitors from another world, or as some of us like to call them...ETs!!!

Little does he know, that this has ALREADY happened, but THEY erased the memory of it!

This explains why he has risen to the pinnacle of society, and the broadcast world!

The other worldly beings have helped him in positive ways to zoom him to the tippy top, and now he's outstanding in his field!!

Do you think Greg was born with that velvety, deep voice? 

The aliens transmigrated that into his larynx! 

Does Greg's head look like it is the normal sized human head? 

Heck no! The ETs increased the size of his head to accommodate his enormous alien brain that they slid in there!

I could go on and on, but I REALLY need to take my meds, and wish my AWESOME alien brained friend the HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY in the world and BEYOND!!!