Friday Fantastic Fables 

The fables begin at the earliest portion of your little life, when someone tells you something fantastic to get you to do something, or not do something, or just for fun. 

For instance, "don't stay out after dark, because banshees (vicious female spirits...ban-SHE, get it) will fly down and eat your face!"

This fable was commonly utilized in ancient Ireland, but can still be effective today, if your kids watch enough syfy/horror flicks. 

There was a fable in my old neighborhood about a witch that would fly up from the middle of a nearby cemetery at midnight (fable was invented to keep kids from "parking" in the cemetery and kissing each other, I believe), but when they built a Steak N Shake (open 24 hours) across from the infamous cemetery, the witch never appeared anymore. (the witch must have been a White Castle fan)

Then there was the witch that lived at the end of Dixie Drive (the street where I lived) who turned kids into the geese that waddled around her yard! However, the "witch" turned out to be a really nice woman who actually gave us goose eggs on Halloween (or was it Easter?) ! How cool is dat?!

Decorated Goose Eggs...Ain't they beautific?!

As you can see, there were a LOT of witch fables back then. 

Nowadays the fables have become more sophisticated and up to date. 

The picture of sophistication

For instance, "don't stay out after dark, because there are hideous creatures from outer spaze that come to Earth, after dark, to grab children, and turn them into half alien, half human little soldiers, who infiltrate innocent human bean brains, to conquer our beloved world!"

Another 21st century fable would be, "we need to go to this boring event because (place name of their favorite celebrity here) _______________ will be there!"

Lie? It's not a lie! It's a contemporary fable! 

When the celebrity does not show, tell them celebrities are known for skipping events. "Those dirty, rottin' celebs!!" (Use it as a teaching moment)

No Show Jones

An age old fable is "make sure you wear clean underwear, because you may get into a serious, bloody accident, and you don't want the first responders, nurses and doctors know you don't change your fruit of the looms!"

Okay. What kind of gory images are we placing in our kidlet's heads?! Blood, guts, ambulances, hospitals, and to top it off, embarrassment from having dirty underwear!!

Well, that's the skinny on fables! For more information, check out this book...

Don't recommend that anyone under the age of 35 read this book! It's that horrifying!!