Let's Get Rid Of All The Following...

1. Those hand held phone contraptions / They are destroying real communication with real people, and it's rude to be lookin' at one of those devilish devices when your great grandma, who hasn't seen you in a year, is wanting to share her fondest memories with you.

2. Alexa and Siri/ It's not natural to get advice, info, and every silly little thing from a talking machine. That's what great grandma's are for. 

3. Spaze travel/ Ain't there enough things to worry about on earth?  Why complicate things by blasting off into the wild blue bizarre blackness of spaze? 

4. Smart TVs/ Come on. Isn't this the height of laziness? Talking to our TVs, instead of getting up and changing the channel, like we did in 1955? Remote? What's a remote? 

5. Microwaves/ Are we really in that big of a hurry? For thousands of years, folks have had to wait for a long time for their Swanson dinner to heat up over an open fire. I hope you all realize, the faster we go, the sooner we reach the grave! Besides, microwaves are disintegrating our brains! Please, no comments about MY brain. Thank you.

6. High heeled shoes/ Do I REALLY need to explain this? I think not.

7. Bottled water/ This is so crazy! All ya gotta do is turn on the tap for good ole, pre-tested, chlorinated, American CO2!

8. Politicians/ Another one that needs no explanation. Hey! Would anarchy be any worse? Just kidding! I don't want the Feds knocking on my door for an innocent joke. 

9. Soccer/ Not a sport in my well worn opinion! I'm way too impatient to wait two hours for someone to score! Also, you should be able to use every single part of your body in a REAL sport! In addition, soccer was almost non-existent in the U.S. of A. when I grew up, and now it's EVERYWHERE you look! So, it must be part of a deep, dark conspiracy to invade our traditional sporting events!

10. Area 51/ Get rid of it! If there are no aliens, spazeships, alien corpses, alien aluminum foil...why have it? Just a waste of taxpayers money! 

Well, I'm sure all you guys can think of a LOT more things we need to get rid of, so place your entries in the comments section below.