Out Of This World Wednesday-The Guardian

It seems like just a week ago we deserted our glorious Glirkazoids to grapple with the Guardian Of The Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11. 

The Guardian Of The Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11, in case you forgot.

Guardian - (With a deep, booming voice, not unlike Optimus Prime), "Who dares to enter the cavernous cave of the Great Jewel of Neprotonicus 11, to take away our source of energy from time immemorial!! I'll huff and puff, you billy goats gruff, and grind your bones to make cream puffs!!"

Rosie - "You're gonna what?"

Guardian - "I said, I'll huff and puff, you billy goats gruff, and grind your bones to make cream puffs! You gotta problem with that?"

Rosie - "Only that you're plagiarizing the words of some pretty famous bad guys, and very clumsily at that."

Guardian - "Okay, Einstein, ya got any ideas?"

Gary - "I do! I do!! Why not, I, the Guardian, will bite off your heads, 'till you're good and dead, then pluck out your eyes as a big surprise!!"

Rosie - "Gary! I don't think you need to..."

Gary - "No wait! This one's better! Because you two look so yummy, you'll suffer eternally in my inescapable tummy!!!"

Guardian - "I kinda like THAT one!"

Rosie - "GARY! WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!!"

Gary - "You never let me be creative, Rosie! I'm on a roll!"

Guardian - "A roll? Yeah, you guys would taste good on a roll, my Glirkazoid gyros!" 

Rosie - "Excuse me, but gyros are not made with rolls, and we are not going to be eaten by you!"

Guardian - "Why not, prey tell! Get it? I said PREY tell instead of PRAY tell, because you are my PREY! Well, I thought it was funny."

Rosie - "You are not gonna eat us, because I saw you flicker! Which means you are not real! You're only a deep faking hologram, projected into this cave to scare us away."

Gary - "Why are you trying to stop us, anyway. Don't you know this planet is ready to implode, and we were hired to move the Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11 to Neprotonicus 12, to provide power to the new inhabitants of Neprotonicus 12 who evacuated this planet of Neprotonicus 11?"

Guardian - Sorry! I've been pre-programmed since Neprotonicus 11 was a primordial soup, to virtually defend the Great Jewel with my artificial life."

Gary - "If you are just a computer program, how are you conversing with us?"

Guardian - "Remember in the Superman movies when Superman's dead dad would converse with Superman? Especially the Superman movie with Russell Crowe as Superman's dad, but not so much with Marlon Brando playing his dad?"

Gary - "Surely!"

Guardian - "Well, I'm having conversations with you in the same way. And don't call me Shirley!!"

Gary - "It didn't make any sense to me in those movies and I..."

Rosie - "FORGET ABOUT IT, GARY! This planet is shaking violently, and we need to get the Great Jewel back to the Silver Sausage spazeship before we get imploded, like Krypton!!"

The Silver Sausage spazeship...as if you didn't know. 

Our gleeful Glirkazoid galoots begin pulling the Jewel to the surface, with ropes, using pulleys, block and tackle. (you young whippersnappers have no idea about pulleys, block and tackle, do ya...me either) 

When they reach the windy, shaking, blava filled surface, they begin their dangerous trek back to the safety of the Silver Sausage spazeship. 

Rosie - "I know I've never given up before, Gary, but I don't know if I can go on, my old friend. I have blisters on my feet, my back is aching from carrying this heavy Jewel, the nasty wind and hot molten blava is causing my antenna to droop, and I have a toothache from eating all of those Reese's Pieces!!"

Gary - "No worries, Rosie! I'll just assemble the Speeder Bike I have in my backpack and we'll fly to the ship."

Example of Speeder Bike

Rosie - "Let me get this straight, Skeezix!! We have trekked through hot, molten blava, catapulted over chasms, fought alien beasts along the way, collapsed from sheer fatigue, and you had a Speeder Bike in your KNAPSACK!!!"

Rosie begins to slowly walk towards Gary, with a look that would scare a Horrorbalis Beast!

Gary - (Speaking nervously)"Na-now, Ra-Rosie! How exciting and suspenseful wa-would our story have ba-been if we had just za-zoomed over to get the Jewel and za-zoomed back to the Sa-Silver Sa-Sausage spazeship?" 

Rosie - "My name is Rosie! You killed my little alien body! Prepare to die!!"

Gary - "Settle down, Rosie! I know you don't mean that, buddy!"

Rosie - "My name is Rosie! You killed my little alien body! Prepare to die!!" My name is Rosie! You killed my little alien body! Prepare to die!!"

. 

Who boy! I think Rosie is a wee bit upset with Gary. They've been "killing" each other for thousands of quadro-years, but no one ever dies.

Next Wednesday we'll look in on them and see if their little spat is over, and if they will make it off Neprotonicus 11 before it implodes!!