I'm Trying To Spread Joy In Illinois

Here is a song I wrote about the state of Illinois, many moons ago...

You may listen to the song whilst reading my blog, if your brain is amber-dextrius!

Yes! As the song plays, you are hearing about all of the bad, nasty features of Illinois, and you most certainly know them if you reside in this heckhole.

 However, imma gonna share some WONDERFUL thangs about Illinois, that you may have overlooked, or did not even know, about this mysteriously fascinating state.

1. Asian Carp are our most fun and exciting tourist attraction, or is that attractions? Oh, I don't know, but you can get drunk, go out on a boat and try to hit them with baseball bats, or net them, or have a great big lunker, Asian Carp, knock you in the Illinois river, where they never find your remains for 6 months, until bits of you start washing up on the Sparland shore.

2. The friendly folks of Illinois will make EVERYONE feel at home, even if you're from another country, territory or universe. It's in Illinoisian's blood! Of course, now with the poison-like plague, we choose to keep our distances from STRANGERS, and with our masks in place, foreigners can't tell we're smiling at them from way across the street. 

Is she smiling or not?

3. "Pothole Paradise" is a name that some have bestowed upon Illinois, due to the fact that Illinois roads are pitted, pock marked paths of perdition.

 Conversely, I look upon them as a goofy, gleeful game of skill, that pits our driving dexterity against the most impossible of odds! Do we miss the pothole and hit the pedestrian? Do we sideswipe a semi to avoid a Grand Canyon-like pothole? Will we even survive our trip to Chicago, or will we end up in a  "black hole" of no escape?! Talk about FUN? Illinois got it, brothers and sisters!! 

Just a few examples of what makes Illinois such a joyful junction of jolly jovial jubilation!

We ain't even gonna complain about the weather!