Thursday, March 11, 2021

Use Stimulus Cash Wisely

How do you plan on using your "stimulus" cash?

Here are a few suggestions to help you avoid wasting your new found wealth...

1. Send the money to me. I know what to do with it.

2. Adopt a homeless dog or cat.

Come on man! How can you resist?

3. Give it all to a total stranger.

Now, don't you feel better?

4. Buy a small boat.

5. Donate to the "Save The Platypus" foundation.

6. Purchase nunchucks.

7. Support your local Sheriff, with a 14 hundred dollar gift.

8. Put your stimulus cash in a Mason jar and bury it in the backyard, where it will cease to be stimulus cash.

9. Purchase a 19th century petticoat, dude.

10. Build a treehouse with a mini-bar.

That's one BIG mini-bar, if you ask me!

11. Put the stimulus moolah in a blender...shred it...and sprinkle it over the grave of Bernie Madoff...if he ever dies. It's all good! Your money will return to you 1000 times over!

12. Take a trip to the City Of Lights, or the City That Never Sleeps, or the City By The Bay, or the Gateway To The West, or Goofy Ridge Illinois, for something different and unusual.