OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

"Those who lose dreaming are lost!" 

The greatest comic and thespian in the universe, Gounderus, has been given the afore mentioned message, delivered by the amazing Australian prophet, Big Gaz. 

 Gounderus                              Big Gaz         

Instead of me going into all the details, go read last week's blog to save me some typing, okay? 

Did you read it? Did you notice the part with Gounderus and Big Gaz? Did you see the part about Gary and Rosie hunting down the big worm?

If not, I suggest you do dat now! I'll wait. 

Let's proceed, gang!

Gounderus - "So, here I am, in my dressing room, rich...famous...adored by my trillions of fans throughout the universe, and about to step out on the stage once again to knock 'em dead with my comedic genius, but something is missing. I should be ecstatically HAPPY, but something is wrong! 

Maybe it has something to do with the message Big Gaz gave me. Naaaah, it couldn't be that!"

Okay! Now through the magic of cinnamontography, we zoom in on an oasis in the middle of a desert, on a distant planet, where Rosie and Gary are tracking down the gargantuan worm of enormous size, who has swallowed the entire populace of the Kia Lambourghini province!

Gary - "I have a brilliant idea, Rosie!"

Rosie - "Oh, boy, that's bad."

Gary - "What did you just mumble, Rosie?"

Rosie - "Uh, I said, Oh, joy, I'm glad!"

Gary - "Have you ever seen a robin listening for worms and then sticking his/her beak into the ground and grabbing a big juicy one?"

Rosie - "Yes, but I don't think..."

Gary - "Well, I'll simply put my ear to the ground here...

When Gary puts his ear to the ground, the enormous worm BURSTS from the earth, and raises Gary up about 222 meters above Rosie! 

Gary - "Yeeeee-haaaaw! I got 'im, Rosie, I got 'im!!!

Rosie - (Yelling up to Gary) "Do you have him, or does he have you?!"

Gary - "Yes, you're right! We need a way to make him "hurl," so the entire province of Kia Lambourghini can be saved!" 

Rosie - "I happen to have the perfect thing to make him throw up, Gary!"

Gary - "What?!"

Rosie - "I said, I HAVE THE PERFECT THING TO MAKE HIM PUKE!!

Gary - "How you gonna get it way up here and put it in his mouth?!"

Rosie - "This ain't goin' in his mouth, it's goin' in his EAR!"

At that, Rosie whips out her trusty little music player, and begins to play this song that she obtained from deleted Earth files...

In a nano second, the big, bad worm upchucks the inhabitants of Kia Lanbourghini, the worm quickly wiggles away, and our super heroes are mobbed by the thankful Kia Lambourghinites!!

At this monumental conclusion to a magnificent story, we segue back to our beloved Gounderus...

However, he is not in that fancy dressing room of the lavish floating theatre, where we saw him earlier.  He is sleeping on the couch in his humble home, on his home planet of Ocixem Wen. He is waking up...

Gounderus - "Where...wha...what happened to my wealth, fame, trillions of fans...?

"Oh, my! It was all just a dream...but I think I got the message! Big Gaz told me, "Those who lose dreaming are lost"...sooo, if I keep on dreaming about success, I will never lose my direction, my motivation, my, uh, let's see...enthusiasm for life..."

All of a sudden, we zoom in on Gounderus again, asleep in his magnificent dressing room...

Stage manager - (Knocking on the door) "Gounderus...5 minutes 'till showtime!"

Gounderus - (Wakes up from a short power nap) "Uh...okay...be right out! Whee doggies! I must have been dreaming, all along! Ha Ha! Maybe I'll relate my weird dream to the audience! What a larf!! Tee hee, hee hoo..."

In a flash, the scene changes to Gary, sleeping on the poop deck of the Silver Sausage. He awakens with a start!!

Gary - "Rosie, I had the most unusual dream! It was about Gounderus getting a message about dreams, you and me defeating a giant worm who had swallowed a whole province of folks, you making the worm throw up..."

Rosie - "You best stop eating those greasy White Castle hamburgers before you go to bed, buddy!"

Gary - "I guess you're right, Rosie, but it all seemed so real! 

Donna - "Honey, wake up! Are you having a bad dream?!"

Me - "Huh? Wha? No, babe, I just had a very wild and crazy dream, about Rosie and Gary making a worm of gigantic proportions regurgitate a bunch of folks, Gounderus becoming famous, and then NOT famous, but Big Gaz is telling him not to stop dreaming, because that's not cool, and floating theatres that..."

Donna - "Hey, why not put all of that wacky dream in your next Out Of This World Wednesday?"

Me - "Naaah, it would just put everybody to sleep."

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

A super eerie noise was coming from the dressing room closet of Gounderus, the great, universal comedian, who has performed for all the Crown Princes of Europia and beyond, yond, yond (this is an echoing sound), yond yond!!

No one can watch this without laughing!

Gounderus - "Who dat?"

Mysterious Creature In The Closet - "Who DAT?"

Gounderus - "Who dat say "who dat" when I say who dat?"

At that precise moment, the closet door swings open, and the face of the "mysterious creature" is revealed...It is...

Play this for dramatic effect!

BIG GAZ!!!

Prophet, sooth sayer, prognosticator, foreteller of events, sage, parsley, and not a bad Sean Connery replicator!! 

Gounderus - "Gig Baz...I mean Big Gaz... is it really YOU?" 

Big Gaz - "What do you think, mate?"

Gounderus - "Well, it looks like you, and sounds like you, and you said mate, but I need a little more Aussie talk to be sure!" 

Big Gaz - "Onya, mate! I tooks me kangaroo to the Aborigine outback walkabout, and founds me a didgeridoo, rot in the middle of a billabong, where a dingo was plyin' with a kwala, and a wallaby was bein' ate by a croc!"

Gounderus - "It IS you, Big Gaz!"

Big Gaz - "Not really, Mate! I'm a flippin' "hollow graham"...kind of like a T.V. image without all the electronical parts!"

Gounderus - "Don't you mean a hologram?"

Big Gaz - "That's what I just said!!"

Gounderus - "Anyway...do you have a prophetic message for me, to guide me to more fame and fortune?"

Big Gaz - " Yeah...uh...I do, mate...I do! Um...let me see...Those who lose dreaming are lost!"

Gounderus - "That's it? That wasn't prophetic! That sounded like an ancient Aboriginal proverb!"

Big Gaz - "That's all I got for ya, sook! Gidday!"

At that, the hologram instantly dissipates into the vast blackness of outer spaze! 

Gounderus - "What a silly dude! Big Gaz hologramed himself all the way from the planet Earth to give me a nonsensical Aboriginal proverb. Ha! What a laugh! How can someone lose dreaming? EVERYBODY dreams! Furthermore, I NEVER get lost! I'm like a walking UPS System! (Universal Positioning System)

"Hey...wait a second...maybe this is all a dream! I'll stick my head out of this porthole, into the oxygenless, vast, blackness of spaze to see if I'm dreaming. If I can still breathe, I'll know I'm dreaming, if I CAN'T breathe, I'll know I'm awake! Ha! Why does everyone say I'm so dumb?"

Goundy proceeds to open the porthole, and then stick his head out into the endless, oxygen free, black, vastness of outer spaze....

Here is the result!!!

Gounderus quickly pulls his head back inside the floating, outer spaze theatre! 

Gounderus - (Gasping for precious air) Now...(gasp)...that...(gasp, gasp)...was...(gasp, gasp, gasp)...stu...(gasp, gasp)...pid...(cough, cough...gasp...gasp)...at least...(gasp)...I know...(gasp)...I'm...(gasp, cough)...not....(cough, cough)...dreaming...

The phone starts playing it's special ringtone...

Goundy answers the phone...

Gounderus - "Gounderus The Great here! How may I help you?

Rhymesauce - "Hey, this is Rhymesauce, I was reading the blog, and decided to do a rhyme about it!"

Gounderus - "Cool! I haven't seen you since we were enslaved in the pupunite mines, on the planet Zaddy-Oh! Okay, lay on the rappin', buddy!

Rhymesauce begins to rap...

"Out World Wednesday, mysterious creatures,

Rosie and Gary, Fearless Leaders,

Glirkazoids, Gounderus, Gazza, Rhymesauce,

Floating theatre, take a spazewalk,

Porthole poppin', Aussie speech,

Ancient proverb, Tryin' to teach!"

Gounderus - "That was awesome, Rhymesauce, but I gotta get ready for my show now. Taa!"

The scene now segues from Goundy, telling jokes to the mirror, to a burning desert on a far away planet in the Celexa galaxy, where Rosie and Gary are tracking down a gigantic rebel worm (like the ones in Dune) that has swallowed the whole province of Kia Lambourghini! 

Rosie - "We need to hurry, Gary, before the humongous, rebel worm digests the entire population of Kia Lambourghini...but how do we find the hideous creature?"

Gary - "Elementary, my dear, Rosie! To catch a worm, you need to think like a worm!"

Rosie - "That should be easy for you, my little green friend."

Gary - "What was that?!"

Rosie - "I said, what a brilliant idea, my genius, guru Glirkazoid guy!" (chortle, chortle)

Gary - "Now, if I were a worm, I would go...uh...uh..."

Rosie - "Under the ground?"

Gary - "I'd go under the ground! Eureka! I figured it out! Now, exactly, where under the ground would I go?"

Rosie - "Since this is the desert, I would think near a body of water, in an oasis."

Gary - "Rosie, would you PLEASE be quiet for a second, and let me think like a worm! Worms need water, don't they?"

Rosie - "Yee-esss?"

Gary - "And the only water in the desert is found in an oasis, right, Rosie?"

Rosie - "Uh...riiiight?"

Gary - "Soooo, I have cleverly deduced that the gynormous rebel worm must be under the ground, near the water, in that oasis off in the distance!"

Rosie - "Bravo, Sherlock! You done, done it again!! (chortle) (a chortle is a breathy, gleeful laugh, or chuckle)

Gary - "Let that worm try to wiggle away now, we will hook that monster in short order!"

Rosie - "Oh, good grief!! 

What's going on? We seem to be focusing in on two totally different stories, that have no possible connection! Are we in some kinda bizarro world or something? 

Gounderus has achieved his dream of becoming a big time comedian, so what's with all the weird messages for him?

What does Rosie and Gary chasing around an enormous worm have to do with Gounderus, a billion light years away? 

If you're even an eensy bit curious...join us next week for...

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

As you may not recall, Gounderus was one of the captives released (through the valiant efforts of Gary and Rosie) from the pupunite mines on the planet of Zaddy-Oh, along with Manolis, Kate and Rhymesauce. 

Goundy (as all his fans like to call him) had resumed his magnificent career of entertaining creatures throughout the endless universe, and making them laugh so hard they would involuntarily fart! (This is considered the sincerest form of flattery to a inter-galactic comic.) 

No guy can listen to this without laughing!

Apart from making trillions of pazoozas (interplanetary currency), Gounderus LOVED making creatures laugh and fart! 

It was not uncommon for inhabitants of a far away planet to walk past a gigantic stadium, sniff, and exclaim, "Gounderus must have performed here!"

He was not unlike the ancient, legendary performer...Daveman, who made the audience laugh so much they would pee their pants! 

We now zoom in on a super gigantic theatre, floating in mid-aire, and bathed in colored lights of blue, purkle, organdy, teal, esmerelda, and lavender...and then we magically zoom through the roof of the theatre, down the red carpeted hallway, and through the door of Goundy's dressing room...where we find him practicing one of his classic bits...

Click on this bit! Jerry Lewis stole this from Gounderus!

Gounderus - (Talking to his makeup girl...who, incidentally, looks like Cheeky Tam)

 "Makeup girl...am I paying you enough? I don't want anyone to be unhappy."

Makeup girl - "Are you kidding me, Goundy? You pay me millions of pazoozas! Not only do you pay me big bucks, but you make me laugh! Pfffffffaaaaaart! 

Gounderus - "That was a mighty fart, makeup girl! Thanks for the compliment!"

Makeup girl - "No probleemo...it's a pleasure to work for the greatest comedian and thespian in the universe!"

Gounderus - "I may be the greatest comedian, but I'm no thesbian...I think only women can be thespians...and only if they don't like men.

No matter...my show starts in 5 parsecs, and I need my alone time until then.

The makeup girl scampers away, and Gounderus is left alone in his ornate, comedy themed dressing room, that is decorated with ancient photos of Red Skelton, Charlie Chaplin, Lucille Ball, Emmett Kelly, Magnus The Marvelous, Buster Keaton, Monty Python, and Daws Butler.

Gounderus hears a noise coming from the closet! A very strange, eerie noise...

What could be making this noise?

Is it something cute and innocent?

Maybe it's something so horrible, ugly, and monstrous that you will not EVEN want to read OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY, next week!

Taa! 

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

This particular blog post is for Cheryl (Rosie), and Gary Merritt!

Our Glirkazoid friend, Gary, is beginning to awaken from his little "nap," caused by the exploding coffee maker!

Gary - "Rosie! Rosie! I've got to find Rosie! I'll set the Silver Sausage spazeship on auto pilot, and take the shuttle craft to find my fine friend!

In the meantime, Rosie has escaped from the evil Killbilleruns, commandeered their shuttle craft, and is only 2 parsectians away from the Silver Sausage! 

As soon as Gary takes off from the Silver Sausage, on one side of the spazeship, Rosie is docking on the other side of the ship, and they don't see each other! 

Rosie enters the break room and finds all of the debris from the coffee maker explosion, but no Gary!

Then she notices that the shuttle craft is gone, and realizes Gary has gone out to look for her!

We are now back to Gary in his little shuttle craft...

Gary - (Breaks out in song...sung to the tune of Camp Town Ladies)
♪♪Zooming out to find Ro-sie...doo daa, doo daa,
Gonna set my buddy free...Oh, daa doo, daa day!♪♪
♪We've been through so much together...doo daa, doo daa,
Destroyed mean beasts in nasty weather...Oh, daa doo, daa day!♪♪
♪Gwine fly all night, gwine fly all day,
Bet my money on my Rosie girl,
♪♪Somebody bet on my bae!♪♪

Gary suddenly remembers that he forgot his trusty emulsificator weapon, and turns the ship around to grab it off the Silver Sausage.

We now focus our attention on Rosie, standing amid wet coffee grounds, coffee maker parts, chicken feathers?

Rosie - (Breaks out in song...sung to the tune of "I Love Her," by the Beatles)

♪My Gary is a flub, he's such a goofball,
Some say that he's a dud, and he is too small...but I love him!♪♪

♪Bright are the stars that shine,
Gary is dimmer, but he is truly mine,
♪My little glimmer...and I love him!♪♪

♪That Glirkazoid makes big mistakes,
But my heart aches when he's missing!♪

♪♪ I need to find my bae,
That's what I'll do now,
Although he's far away,♪
I'll reach him somehow...And I love him!♪♪

Gary - "Hi, Rosie!" 

Rosie - "Gary! How long have you been back?"

Gary - "Just got here, Rosie. What were you singing?"

Rosie - "Oh...uh... just an...um... old Glirkazoidian folk song."

Gary - "Cool! Well, we're both tired, so we need to go to our bunks and get some rest."

Rosie - "Yeah...uh...right...okay...well, good night my friend!"

Gary - "Goodnight, buddy!" (Gary singing very softly as he walks to his quarters) 

♪Bright are the stars that shine,
Gary is dimmer, but he is truly mine,
♪My little glimmer...

Judge me by my size...do you?

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

When we last visited our super duper Glirkazoids, Rosie and Gary, Rosie had escaped from her Killbillerun guards, and Gary had blown up the coffee maker! 

Rosie felt a disturbance in "da forz," and knew Gary was in deep trouble! 

She needed to free herself from the black, shark-like, Killbillerun spazeship, to render aid to her lifelong buddy! 

The scene now changes to the break room of the Silver Sausage spazeship, where Gary is lying on the deck, covered in coffee grounds!

Gary - "Where I am? Wuzz jus hoppen?"

Gary was still a bit disoriented, and talking kinda silly-like!

Gary - "Me gotta getz de-coffeenated, and gets go Wozie!" (Then he passes out)

In the meantime, Rosie has disabled the enemy spazeship, commandeered a shuttle craft, and is making her way back to her beloved, Gary! 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Gary opens his eyes for a moment, and goes back to sleep.

Through the indescribable beauteousness, and immense, dark vastness of outer spaze, sweet Rosie circumvents all sorts of space junk, asteroids, meteors, evil alien spazeships, and spaze monsters to return to her little green friend, Gary! 

Rosie - "I'm worried 'bout my Gary,

                                    I hope that he's okay,

                  I'm traveling at warp speed,

                  To try and save my bae.

                  I hope that he's still breathing,

                  And not in rigor mortis,

                  I know I'm going very fast,

                  But feel like I'm a tortoise!"

What's gonna happen, folks? 

Will the Silver Sausage go down, with no one at the controls?

Will Rosie find her "bae," before it's too late?

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY WILL RETURN NEXT WEDNESDAY FOR YOUR EDIFICATION!!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

There are no pictures of Gary crying...but this is close enough, me thinks!

Great big tears are dropping from Gary's great big eyes, as he watches the Spaze Surveillance video, where an innocent, unsuspecting Rosie, is snapped up by an enormous, claw-like thing, protruding from a super-gynormous spazeship, that looks kinda like a black, ugly shark! 

Poor, poor Rosie was taking a brief spaze walk, and viewing the magnificent, brilliant universe, when this dastardly, black spazeship creeps up behind her, snips her tether cord with this claw-like thingy, grabs her, and brings her into the ugly spazeship, kicking and screaming!!

Gary - (Sobbing now) "Bwaaaaah, Bwaaaa...ah...ah..ah...aaaaaaah!!!!!

"Rosie!!! Where have they taken you, my lifelong friend?!!! 

"I...(sob, sob)...need...(sob,sob)...to get a hold of my...(sob,sob,sob) self...so I...(sob) can find my buddy!!"

Now we get a glimpse inside of the dark, menacing spazeship, where Rosie is chained to a bulkhead (wall), and is  still kicking and screaming, and not hiding her feelings...

Rosie - "Wait 'till I get my hands on you lizard lipped, goggle eyed, moronic, mutant, Ferrengi faced, lopsided, stinking, sons-of-Bogdonian Blob Beasts!"

Actually, Rosie has been abducted by the evil Killbilleruns, who enjoy abducting innocent, female space creatures, and using them for their favorite sport that they call, "The Full Games!" (Kind of like "The Hunger Games", but totally different!)
Little do they know that Rosie ain't as innocent as they think she is! NO WAY...NO HOW!!

Meanwhile...back on the Silver Sausage spazeship...

Gary - (Talking to himself) "Okay...okay...I have to THINK...and I HATE thinking! 
"That dirty black spazeship that captured Rosie was a Class 676...sub class, 49B...888-3678...;;;...moon equipped...7th Sojourn...model Qz010p2yfff...I THINK...and I REALLY HATE THINKING THIS HARD!
"I'll just send the video to Glirkazoid Headquarters, and let them figure it out!"

As Gary is Glee-mailing the video to Headquarters, we look back in on Rosie, who has already freed herself from her restraints, and disabled her two, enormous, Killbillerun guards by fusing them together with her powerful brain! (They will automatically un-fuse in 48 hours)

Back on the Silver Sausage, Gary is making coffee, and awaiting instructions from H.Q.

Gary - "What are these little paper baskets for? (Gary mutters to himself) I don't need them to make coffee! (He throws them in the trash) Now, how many scoops of Java should I put in this contraption...hmmm? "♪One...two...three...♪...this is taking too much time! (So, Gary pours the whole can of coffee into the shiny contraption) 

"Yeah...that seems about right...that's the ticket!!"

Gary turns on the coffee maker, and it begins to sputter, spurt, vibrate, gyrate, smoke, fume, bounce around the ship, and then...and then...

Rosie feels a disturbance in "da-forz," sensing something is wrong with Gary!

Join us for the next OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY, NEXT WEEK, ON WEDNESDAY, TO FIND OUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO OUR BRAVE, FEARLESS, COMPADRES!