BREAKING NEWS! Over 47,000 VIEWS ON MY BLOG! 

Better Than The Cardinals!

In 2018, the average attendance at a Cardinals baseball game was 42, 019, therefore, I have more views on my blog (over it's lifetime) than the average attendance of one Cardinals baseball game! 

Wow! How mind blowing is that?!!

Of course, that does not mean 47,000 individual folks have viewed my blog. It could only be 100 people that viewed it 470 times each, or 47 readers who viewed it 1000 times, or even 1000 faithful fans that viewed it 47 times. 

No matter to me. The fact that ANYBODY would be foolish, I mean, perceptive enough to enjoy my thought provoking, lighthearted blog is a blessing beyond belief! 

Here is another fun fact, friends. Did you know the average daily attendance at Disneyland is 44, 000 men, women and chitlins? 

Just ponder the improbable impossibility of my blog doing better than that! 

(Disclaimer...I am comparing a daily number with a lifetime number, which is totally unfair, but who reads disclaimers, anyway?)

So often I sit here in front of my computer, contemplating my contradictory contemplative cranium creations, and wonder why 47 million people would LOVE my blog so much...uh...I mean 47,000 people...umm...Okay, a number of people would enjoy my "contradictory contemplative cranium creations" in such a "groupie" sort of way, and I can only think..."computer glitch."

That is the ONLY logical answer. Even I wouldn't read this blog, unless my mind was altered by an electronical Alien probe drilled into my brain by the feared Glirkazoids! 

Gary the Glirkazoid

I know what you're thinking. "My brain has not been probed by the feared Glirkazoids and I read your blog!" 

Well, that must mean you have DEEPER problems! By the way, you wouldn't know if you've been probed, anyway. Glirkazoids are very tiny and very quiet, vewy, vewy quiet. 

Back to the amazing news of my blog catapulting to 47 billion views...give or take. 

If you feel like celebrating this milestone in my blogging career, go on ahead, and I'll catch up later. I need a nap right now, as I dream about the day I reach 48, 000 views!!! 

Nobody Feels Exactly Like You Do

Have you ever mentioned to someone how much you enjoy White Castle hamburgers, and they almost gag as they tell you how much they DESPISE those greasy belly bombers. 

I was shocked the first time someone reacted that way to my FAVORITE hamburger! 

I was 5. 

I double dog dare ya to disrespect White Castle, pard!

We have close friends who share most of our interests, but not ALL of our interests. 

I used to love the salmon patties my mom would make, and assumed the rest of my 5 brothers and sisters loved them as well. 

Wrongo! I recently learned one of my sisters was not fond of them at all. 

What's my point?

My point is...uh..let's see...my point is...I forgot my point.......now I remember!

Nobody feels exactly like you do, so don't expect everybody to agree with you on social media, or in real life. 

One of my favorite pieces of advice I've ever heard was, "Don't expect things from people, and you'll never be disappointed." 

Not that I've always applied this advice, but I try more and more in my super advanced years.

This dude NEVER expected ANYTHING from ANYBODY! Umm, yeah, I know he's not a real person, but if he did exist....nevermind.

Can you imagine how miserable it would be if everyone was a New York Mets fan? 

Ugh!

What fun would that be? 

What if everyone just listened to Beethoven. No Mozart, Garth Brooks, Louie Armstrong...just total Ludwig. 

I actually enjoy receiving negative comments on my YouTube videos, because they help me to improve, and I love having fun with the negative Nellies and Neds. 

For instance, if they say, "Your music ain't worth crap," then I'll say, "thank you very much for your comment, that's a big step up from what the last guy said!"

Believe it or not, I'm usually able to form a decent dialogue with the person, who really wants attention and some kind words. 

I always wonder what their life is like to be angry with a total stranger. I believe they must have been abused somewhere in their lives to criticize a sweet guy like me, who writes non-crappy music most of the time. 

Sometimes it is pretty crappy, I admit.

Let me leave you with what my mom used to tell us.

"Don't look down on anyone, even that hobo that comes to our door asking for a handout. How do we know he's not an angel sent from heaven to test our love." 

So, maybe the next person who bad mouths you on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, at Kroger, wherever, is an angel testing our love and compassion for others...

I'm So Glad To Talk with You Today!

As the new year begins, I deeply believe that in 2019 Anno Domini, we need more communication and less stagnation. Less staring at our screens, more searching for our dreams. More talking it out, without a scream or a shout. 

"Easier said than done," you proclaim so skeptically. 

Well, it's like the articulate John F. Kennedy once said...

He got us to the moon by inspiring NASA with these words...or he inspired them to fake the moon landing, very convincingly, to fool the Russians.

Yes! It's HARD to put down that smart phone, but I did it! (Well, I never REALLY had a smart phone, but I'm sure I would put it down if someone ever gave me one.)

Start at 3:14 to get to the good part. 

As you may have noticed from my blog, I am communicating a LOT more, if your definition of communicating is writing stuff that most folks ignore. (Except for you precious, devoted, faithful readers.) 

We all have dreams we need to pursue, relentlessly, to keep the fires of passion burning in our pea pickin' hearts!

My dreams include being in a major motion picture (starring role is optional), having one of my "classic" songs become an American Standard (not a toilet), being a writer for a comedy show (a family oriented show), being a comedian on a comedy show, and, well, at my age, just about anything I accomplish is a dream come true. 

     Sample of one of my "classic" original songs.

Talking things out is a lost art. So often, our discussions escalate into screaming matches that go nowhere man!

Why not do as I do. When a discussion begins to become heated, speak in a very low, calm, soothing voice and say, "If you don't shut your trap right now, I'm cutting you out of my will."

After about 30 minutes, they will stop laughing, unless you ACTUALLY have money to leave them, which will even be more effective at helping them pipe down, real quick like. 

So, let's review.

1. Don't act like a clone and put down the phone.

2. Communication is great, don't stagnate.

3. Follow your dreams, stop with the screams. 

In conclusion...

Blog Is Back From Undeserved Break!

It was rough, holding back from blogging over the Christmas and New Years break, but Donna thought it would refresh my mental processes.

I think her exact words were, "stop with the blog, already, you're driving yourself nuts!" 

Well, she was right. I knew I have always driven everybody else nuts, but I didn't realize I was driving myself nuts. 

I'm so much better now. Calm...not worried about deadlines...relaxed...not concerned with trying to make you all laugh every day...but chillin' like raspberry fillin'! (Why don't we pronounce the p in raspberry?)

Totally removing myself from the stresses of blogging for a couple of weeks has given me a new prospective, or prospector on life. 

Either way, I strike gold, someday, right?

No matter. Even if my new, laid back, attitude doesn't lead me to riches and fame, I'll still be here to irritate folks and delight other folks who are inexplicably drawn to reading my inexplicable blog. 

In conclusion, let's just take a few precious moments and meditate on the good things we experienced over the holiday season...

Special Announcement...That I Don't Want My Faithful Readers To Miss!

Be ready to wake up bright and early tomorrow morning (12/21/2o18) to listen to the Greg and Dan Christmas Show on your radio!

Here is a link to the live brodcast...

https://www.1470wmbd.com/shows/greg-dan/

At approximately 6:10 AM (AM means the morning, for those in Goofy Ridge), a VERY special guest will call in from a far away country, and the WORLD PREMIER of a, soon to be a classic, song will resonate in your brains with the joy of Christmas sounds, that will, most likely be the highlight of this yuletide season, for all with that childlike wonderment still abiding in your little hearts. 

Here is a little reminder of when it will be on the air...

 59 seconds early would even be better!

Did I give you all the link? 

No? Here it is...
https://www.1470wmbd.com/shows/greg-dan/

So, if you are willing to take a leap of faith...arise early, dust off the old radio, tune it to 1470 AM or 100.3 FM if you're in the central Illinois area, or click on the link if you live ANYWHERE else in the world and enjoy the festive, historical, hysterical, unconventional, iconic, Greg and Dan's Annual Christmas Extravaganza! 

You may even hear this blogger on the show, but not realize it. 

Me...not Chevy The Dog!

Sorry, I Was Not Able To Entertain You With My Fascinating Blog Yesterday

Most of you already know why I didn't do my blog yesterday, but FYI, Breanna is doing as well as can be expected, after, still another surgery. 

Thank you for your multitude of prayers for her. We are hoping she can be home for Christmas, Lord willing.

Of course, my job is to bring Christmas cheer and lighthearted silliness to the starving masses (starving for humor), so I need to keep a "stiff upper lip," and "carry on my wayward son," or something like that. 

My mom always told me, "Danny Boy (she called me that when she was about to share some words of wisdom), when you travel down the bumpy road of life, remember this, your smile can create a steamroller...

...that will smooth out those bumps, and your laughter will conquer a figurative fall from Mt. Everest, with a parachute of  levity...

...and when EVERYTHING goes against you, your humor will push it back like four BIG DEFENSIVE LINEMEN pushing back the offensive linemen on the goal line to save the game!"

Okay, my mom never ever said that, but you get the point, right?

You don't? 

This song will explain it better than I ever could...

Join me tomorrow for an exciting announcement!