Pre-St. Paddy's Day Party Planner

Don't panic! St. Paddy's Day is on Sunday and you have absolutely nothing ready!

Never fear, Danny Boy O'Maness is here!!

Sure and begorrah! Danny Boy is havin' all the wee things ya need ta be knowin' ta have the greatest St. Paddy's Day since St. Paddy, himself, drove the slimy snakes out of the Emerald Isle itself!

To begin, laddies,  ya need to be findin' a beautiful lassie ta share St. Paddy's Day with, don't cha know! 

Wrong Lassie!

My beautiful lassie...St. Paddy's Day 2017

Ah, St. Paddy's Day requires loved ones lovin' ya!

I recall me old friend, Sean O'Shaughnessy, who attempted to spend St. Paddy's Day, in 1971, ALONE.

They found him next mornin',  lyin' in the gutter, foamin' from the mouth and wailin' like a blistered banshee!! 

 A banshee is a female spirit who heralds the death of a family member, usually by wailing, shrieking, or keening. (keening is wailing for the dead, I had to Google it)

Saints be praised, O'Shaughnessy came to his senses when we brought Molly O'Grady in to ease his loneliness. She was a gregarious lassie! 

gre·gar·i·ous

/ɡrəˈɡerēəs/

adjective

1. 
   

   (of a person) fond of company; sociable.

   "

   
   

   synonyms:

   , company-loving, companionable,

2. 
   
3. Besides companionship, MUSIC, is of utmost importance in your St. Paddy's Day experience!

The BEST music is totally organic street music, with traditional instruments, even if it's a wee bit bad for dancin'.

Kind of like...

This is much better, me lads and lassies!

Disclaimer: If you insist on NOT clicking on the video clips, we cannot guarantee total enjoyment of this hysterical, historical, hypocritical, hyperbolical blog. 

Traditionally, corn beef and cabbage is the "go to" food for St. Paddy's Day, but frankly, not a whole lot of folks are favorin' this fare, so why not experiment with new Irish tidbits?

Leprechaun Lemon Liver has been loved by lassies and laddies in lower Limerick for lots of millenniums!  (it LOOKS really gross, but it really is)

Pot-O-Gold Pot Roast And Beans is a top-o-the-mornin' breakfast on St. Paddy's Day in Pallaskenry, Ireland, but it causes the Irish revenge on your nether regions, if ya know what I mean. 

The WEARIN' Of THE GREEN! Don't forget the WEARIN' OF THE GREEN on St. Paddy's Day!!

If ya want ta be doin' like the Irish do...instead of pinchin' someone who's not wearin' green, ya smack 'em up side the head with a big shillelagh!!

If they survive, they'll NEVER be forgettin' the wearin' of the green again, unless they've suffered extreme damage of the brain.

Most important of all is "the drink!"

Ya can't be celebratin' St. Paddy's Day without "the drink!!"

Here is what we do on the Emerald Isle itself...

Find a wee thimble. Open a new bottle of Irish whiskey and pour out half a thimble. Do not over do it! Just a half a thimble or less!

Toss that over your right shoulder and drink the rest of the whiskey in the bottle! That will be a good start!

So, here is an Irish blessin' for ya, to bring ya a bonnie St. Paddy's Day! (even though "bonnie" is a Scottish word)

Not this one.

The one below ...

May the roads of Ireland lead ya to a rainbow, where you'll find a pot-o-gold that will bring the wrath of an evil leprechaun, but at least you'll be filthy rich for a wee time, until the leprechaun releases his pet banshee on ya, and removes your head from your body, but that will be okay, because the angels will swoop down and take ya ta heaven before the devil knows you've been dead for a thousand millenniums, and the Blarney Stone crumbles into the Irish Sea!  (Irish Sea?)

It's such a beautiful day, I had to start with this "It's A Beautiful Day" Album!

The album is only 41 minutes long, so I can wait until you're done listening to it.

I'll listen to this intermission song (above) while you listen to "White Bird" on the "It's A Beautiful Day" album, because I've heard "White Bird" a million times. 

You know, you guys are REALLY missing a lot if you're not clicking on these clips that I diligently search for, to benefit your health and well being. 

Who out there will testify that you ignore, or click on my diligently searched clips? 

The survival of our species depends on your answer, so who has the guts to spill your..um...guts? 

I can wait, while I listen to the "Syncopated Clock" again...

I seem to have drawn myself off subject again, but I just wanted to tell you what a gorgeous day it is, or was, except for the wind!

The good thing is that it was so windy, the Greg and Dan radio show played the song I wrote for them to play on super windy days. I think that's cool!!

Sayonara!!!

Massive University Cheating Scandal...

My Worthless Opinion

For gobs of time a university education has been the epitome of stature, and statues, all over this little blue and brown ball I like to call earth. 

Universities have statues of educated alumni all over the place, so that's why I included statues in my opening remarks. (I hope I'm making sense. This time change is disorienting)

With that in mind, what a SHOCKING revelation to learn that Rebecca Katsopolis AND Abigail Stanton were both arrested for bribery, or cheating, or SOMETHING, to get their kids into high falutin' universities! 

It is so hard to believe that sweet Rebecca (AKA Becky) from Full House would be so devious and underhanded to perpetrate such an unlawful act!

Rebecca is a "perp?" Oh, my!

Abigail Stanton, from "When Calls The Heart," is just as sweet as Rebecca, but I suppose some folks will do ANYTHING for the sake of their precious kidlets. 

Personally, some of the people I have met in my 68 years, that had the LEAST amount of common sense, have gone to universities. 

It's kind of like they have so much info in their brains they can't figure out simple stuff.

Of course, common sense is not the goal of students who want to attend elite universities. It's all about the "Benjamin's baby!" (To quote noted scholars, Puff Daddy and Ilhan Omar)

Now, for all of you readers who have attended universities for all the right reasons, like to become doctors, teachers, astronauts, veterinarians, and good things like that...wait a sec...no one who ever attended a university would ever stoop to read my high school influenced blog. Would they?

So here is my take on this whole cheating scandal thing.

If you are a very sweet person, like Rebecca and Abigail WERE, don't do bad things to help your kids. It ain't worth it. 

Yes, your kids will make millions of more dollars in their lifetimes if the attend schools like Stamferd, M.I.C., Harverb, or Prinstone, but is it worth you getting put in the slammer with Abigail and Rebecca? Maybe.

Just let your chitlins go on ahead and flunk the S.A.T. tests and entrance exams all by themselves, so they can learn that life is not fair, and working at Mickey D's is not that bad, if you still live at home with mom and dad. 

Hey, just messin' wit ya! I never attended a university and look how I turned out!!

Doin' My Blog No Matter What!!

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary to write my blog, I do it!

Fear of ridicule does not stop me! 

Conservatives and liberals dare not keep me from my appointed duty! 

Even if Socrates, himself, rose up from the grave, walked up my sidewalk, stepped onto my front deck and banged on my door, screaming, "Quit with your stupid blog," I would reply, "Nay!"

Why do I continue with my blog, even though the slings and arrows of  persecution from haters put obstacles in my path?  (This doesn't happen, but I'm doing a Jussie Smolett publicity thang)

The reason I keep own, keepin' own wit my blog is because it's fun for me, and keeps my brain functioning at about 30%. 

I know that most of youse guys are gonna get mad at me, but I'm making, yet another, appeal for comments. Sorry.

Here is why...The other day I gave a quiz and nobody took it. 

I asked y'all to place your answers in the comments section, and as Rush would say, there was zilch, zero, nada answers to my hilarious quiz.

Maybe you thought I wasn't serious about this quiz, but I was! This quiz was gonna determine 75% of your total grade, but now I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't want to flunk the whole lot of you! 

We will overlook your failure to take the quiz this tom, but the next quiz will be the FINAL quiz of the semester, and we have a no tolerance policy for missing the FINAL quiz of the semester!

In the meantime, if you want to comment on my blog stories from tom to tom, this will add bonus points to your grade. By the way, who is this Tom guy that keeps being mentioned?

My suggestion would be to comment on every single blog posting I do, which will prime you for the FINAL QUIZ, that will pop up unexpectedly, like a thief in the night!!

Please place your comment in the comments section below, even if it's dumb, or hateful (I can take it), or insignificant (in your humble opinion), or just one word, or flowery, or in another language (I'll translate) or esoteric, or...uh...just comment, it makes things more fun!!!

Bradley Braves Better Than A Movie Ending! Uncanny, Miraculous Win! 

I don't usually watch basketball, but when I do, it's  watching Bradley win the Missouri Valley Conference championship!

I have a big connection to Bradley University, because our Ashley recently graduated from there.

Before you stop reading, because you're not interested in basketball or sports in general, I will not go into detail about the miraculous comeback win, where Bradley was 18 points behind, and mustered the strength, courage and super powers to overcome the deficit and WIN, WIN, WIN!!! 

Did you ever watch one of those fictional sports movies, where the underdog team is definitely gonna lose, and against all odds they gather enough heartfelt spirit and determination to beat the other team?

The Longest Yard, for instance:

Since we are focused on basketball, after Bradley's UNBELIEVABLE win, here is a clip from one of the most beloved basketball movies of all time:

I do not know what kind of pep talk Coach Wardle (Bradley's basketball coach) gave at half time, or what kind of energy drink he gave the team, or how much praying was done, but the Bradley team was TOTALLY reborn in the second half! 

This clip is the only thing that matters in this blog, don't skip it! 

In the first half, Bradley players only made 15 points! A record low! They looked a bit sluggish, and basically whipped. Just being honest.

In the second half they became super heroes, doing super heroic stuff, making most of their shots, and even, at one point, making 4 free throws in a row! 

Bradley, making 4 free throws in a row?!!!

It was actually  Lautier-Ogunleye who made the 4 free throws in a row, but I can't spell his name, so I left it out. 

 Lawteair Ogan lehe Laa tearre La tear O  Lautier-Ogunleye

What was especially cool to me is that Bradley won in my home town, where I was bored and raged born and raised!  How sweet is that? Pretty sweet if you ask me!!

Like I said, I'm REALLY not a basketball Jones, but with such an uncanny win for Bradley, I have to be a basketball Jones today!!! 

Yaaaay, Bradley!!!!

Friday Fun Quiz For My Faithful Fans

Please refrain from Googling the answers, because nobody likes a dirty cheater.

Leave your answers in comments section below, even though you really don't wanna. 

You have 15 seconds to complete the quiz. Just kidding! Take all the tom you want! Who's Tom? 

1. What is the name of the current Vice President of the United Snakes?

2. Who is AOC and like ... what ... ya know, is up with her?

3. True or False...Spring back...Fall forward.

4. Multiple choice...Bernie Sanders hair stylist is: 

A. Psychotic 

B. On heavy drugs

C. Totally blind

5. Tatoos are:

A. Ugly

B. Beautiful body art

C. Contagious

D. All on Adam Levine

6. e=mc2? Prove it! 

7. Write a short essay on why your pet is better than everybody else's pet...in hieroglyphics. 

8. True or False...Seth Mcfarlane is an alien from the planet Fructose, who was evicted from his whole galaxy for mocking the voice of King Senokot, who sounds a lot like Stewie Griffin. 

9. Does music sound better on vinyl records? Yea or nay. 

10. What is your most favorite syfy movie? Don't be embarrassed if it's Plan 9 From Outer Space. 

11. Tell us why cats can see things that humans can't see, and why it gives us the creeps? 

The highest score on this quiz wins a trip to the planet Muni Mula...which is aluminum spelled backwards! 

Thanks for your participation!