Funny Friday Fictional Fables...

that may be true! 

Once again, the magnificent, iconic, Greg and Dan Radio Extravaganza played a goofy song I wrote! They are the coolest! Here it is, below...

I know that a lot of you guys...and gals, think I'm making up the story about being on the radio, because I'm a well known liar, but the above clip is proof of me telling the truth, unless it's all FAKED!

Speaking of faked, I'm sharing one of my most iconic videos that includes controversial footage of a UFO...REAL or FAKE...you decide....

This stupid video has 1,600 views! Go figure!

I'm making a prediction on the 2020 presidential election...going out on a limb...risking my reputation...taking that leap of faith...

...it will be...

Pat Paulsen will be the man for the job! 

 Just listen to this dynamic leader on gun control...it's totally hilarious!!!

Did you listen? Then, why do I take the tom to look this funny stuff up? 

Tom Petty is the Tom who looked it up for me! Seriously! 

Well, actually it was his disembodied spirit, but that's cool. 

What? You don't believe in ghosts? 

These paranormal shows are so FAKE, and easy to produce!

Find a creepy old house, turn off the lights, and have a stagehand make sounds in the dark, so you can say, "what wazzat?" 

"Can you talk to us, spirit?"

Stagehand moans, "yessssssssssssssssssssss!" 

I guess these tv folks are smarter than me, they're making millions from this crap, and I'm a pauper.

It seems I have rambled too much, 'cause I'm a ramblin' man, from Pakistan, and I'm a fan of Kukla and Fran...and Ollie! Especially Ollie!

 

Have a marvelous weekend friends!

Out Of This World Wednesday

Flesh Or Fruit, Meats Or Beets?

 

Gary - "So, Rosie. Once again we are zooming across spaze in our Silver Sausage spazeship to Oxykranious, to stop the warring factions that could cause the destruction of that mineral rich planet."

The magnificent Silver Sausage Spazeship!

Rosie - "Mineral rich planet? Really! Is that all you care about? What about the innocent life forms that will be emulsificated over that stupid issue?!"

First working model of emulsificator weapon, circa 222 milleniups.

Gary - "Yeah, them too, but it's not a stupid issue! The krazy plant eating Okykranians are trying to stop the intelligent flesh eating Oxykranians from, uh, eating flesh! It's a big deal, for real!!"

Rosie - "Pay attention to your driving, Gary!! We barely missed a giant asteroid!! Where was I? Oh, yeah, I agree with the plant eating Oxykranians! How gross it is to eat dead flesh!"

Gary - "That's where you're mistaken, Rosie! They mostly eat live, squirming flesh. As fresh as when they crawled out from under a rock, or wiggled through the sludge of the bottom of an Oxykranian sea."

Rosie - "Oh gag! ANYWAY, we need to get there soon, before they totally destroy each other...

Gary - "AND obliterate their mineral rich planet."

Rosie - "Good grief! Gary, I don't...

BLAM!!! At that, the iconic Silver Sausage spazeship is struck, or is that stricken, by a speeding asteroid, and our heroes are bounced around the spazeship like a pin ball!

Included this GIF for the kids who don't know what a pin ball is.

As if any kids read my blog. Ha ha!

Everything goes completely black, and then we see, in the next scene,  Gary and Rosie sleeping in a beautiful, paradisaic garden. 

What happened? How did they end up in that paradisaic garden? 

Could it be the unthinkable has happened?

Will Oxykranious ever be saved?

Is Out Of This World Wednesday gone forever?

Probably not. Sorry.

 

Just A Few Random Thoughts

I have no idea of why folks want to go to Mars. Let's solve all the problems on Earth, first, and then think about destroying the environment of another planet. 

Please stop dressing your pets in clothing. I know it's hilarious, but your pets HATE it! How would you like it if your dog forced you to chew on bones, hmm?

The My Pillow guy is a hypocrite. He boldly brags about his stuff being made in America, but buys his cotton from Egypt! What about American cotton? Why would I buy Giza Dream Sheets, when I would rather have GEORGIA Dream Sheets!!

I think it's been a year since a big pot hole appeared as you exit Schnucks Grocery store, here in Pekin, Il.  I know the police drive over it, as well as the city workers, but it never gets fixed! Are they out of money or just too lazy? Maybe both?

The W.H.O. (World Health Org. for you in Goofy Ridge) just proclaimed that we need to STOP the "shutdowns" of cities to fight Covid-19. What? First it was NO THREAT, then we needed to shut down and "stay in place", but now it's "we were wrong, you needed to stay open all along!" No wonder we are going nutty!

Trump Or Biden, Which One's Hidin'?

With only 46 days until the election that will change the future in so many ways that it will make all of our heads spin off our sockets...if we actually have sockets, we are faced with the ever present question of, who is hidin', Trump or Biden?

"What?" You proclaim! "It's obvious that Biden is hidin', not Trump!"

"Trump is all over the place! He's at airports, huge rallies, military bases, White Castle parking lots...EVERYWHERE he can find an ear to listen!"

"On the other hand, since Biden has come out of his "basement," he's only done VERY limited press conferences and speeches with just a handful of participants."

"It's gotta be Biden that's hidin'!!"

Don't be so certain about that, buckaroos! 

If you would have been paying attention, you would have noticed that Trump looks younger than ever before, his hair is not so orange, he has vitality out the wazoo, as he gives two hour speeches with humor and vigor, and Melania even looks happier! 

That's not Trump! The REAL Donald Trump must be hiding in the White House bunker, while a FAKE Trump is making all of these dynamic appearances! That's gotta be it, folks! No 74 year old dude has that kind of energy!

Conversely, Joe Biden is REALLY doing his events, although tiny events, because we know it's the REAL Joe by his speech pattern, movements, pace, gaffs and interaction with the public.

In conclusion, a vote for Trump is a vote for FAKE Trump, because the real Trump ain't that good, and a vote for Biden is a vote for the REAL Biden. What you see is what you get!

Out Of This World Wednesday

Oxykranious Going Insanious!

Supreme High Command: "We are ordering you two suckers, I mean superheroes to travel to the foreboding planet of Oxykranious to bring peace to the warring factions that will destroy themselves, and the whole dang planet, if they are not stopped! We really don't care much about the inhabitants, but that planet has an abundance of rich minerals we need to exploit!"

Rosie - "Are you saying the Blue Oxykranions are fighting the Magenta Oxykranions, or is it the Ugly Oxykranions against the Hideous Oxykranions?"

Gary - "No, no! It's got to be the 5 Legged Oxykranions battling the 3 Headed Oxykranions? Right?"

Supreme High Command: "Well, it's actually..."

Rosie - "I know, I know! It's the Really Tall Oxykranions wanting to defeat the Giant Oxykranions! That's GOT to be it!!"

Gary - "You're a moron, Rosie! The Really Tall Oxykranions are peace freaks! They don't even swat Oxykranion mosquitoes they're so wimpy! Let me think, it's probably the Antenna Headed Oxykranions, who want to destroy the..."

Supreme High Command: "SHUT UP! Just SHUT UP!!! YOU ARE BOTH WRONG! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!! It's the Live Creature Eating Oxykranions and Dead Plant Eating Oxykranions attempting to destroy each other! Good grief!!"

Gary - "I knew it! Those Dead Plant Eating Oxykranions have ALWAYS been trouble! Whenever the NORMAL Live Creature Eating Oxykranions want to sit down to a noisy meal of live spazesquid, the DPEO's make that gagging noise and act like the LCEO's are eating somebody's brother...which only happens on major holidays!"

Rosie - "I disrespectfully disagree, lamebrain! The utter grossness of the Live Creature Eating Oxykranions would make ANY gentle life form, like the Dead Plant Eating Oxykranions, want to hurl chunks! The only kind, compassionate way of eating is when it's a plant, with no heart beating!" 

Gary - "Did you know that rhymed?"

Rosie - "Yes. Thank you. I have a gift for that."

SHC: "So I don't emulsificate the both of you, I'm going to the Purple Glirf Saloon and toast your suicidal, I mean SENSATIONAL mission you will soon embark upon. Good luck! Your gonna need it! Your vital equipment for the mission has already been beamed aboard the Silver Sausage Spazeship.  I'm outta here!!

Gary - "The Supreme High Commander is such a nice guy! We should have him over to the the ship one of these days!"

Rosie - "Nice guy?!! He just ordered us to go on a suicidal mission, and you believe he's a NICE GUY? Well, he's REALLY not a guy, or a gal...the Supreme High Commander is actually a collection of AI computers that emulate the original Supreme High Commander from 2,222 kreptons ago."

Gary - "But, but...he said he was going to the Purple Glirf Saloon to drink a toast! How can a computer drink a toast?"

Rosie - Remember what I told you about, John Wick and The Brady Bunch?"

Gary - "Not real?"

Rosie - "Correctomundo! The AI computers want to convince us they're a living, breathing creature to make us feel comfortable!"

Gary -" Comfortable?! COMFORTABLE?!! I'm FREAKIN' OUT! How did you find out the Supreme High Commander wasn't a real live Glirkazoid?!!"

Rosie - "Well, uh, he...I mean, IT asked me out on a date once and when I went to meet "him" at the Purple Glirf Saloon, the place was empty, er, didn't exist, was only something planted in my brain, I think, I was very confused, so it felt sorry for me and explained what was going on."

Gary - "You went on a date? You went on a date?!!! Without me?!!! You Jezebel!!"

Chee-willikers! Is Gary a bit jealous? 

Is there gonna be a riff in the spaze team continuum?

Join us next time for...

Rainy Day Blogging Is Better Than Jogging!

A big, no thank you!

You all know that I very rarely do my blog on a Saturday, but since it's raining, and I haven't done a blog posting in a while, I'm making an exception. 

Note: My font colors are all dull, which symbolizes the rainy morning I'm experiencing at this tom.

I did not even try to express my feelings on 9/11, yesterday. What could I say that hasn't been said. 

My granddaughter Bre completed another cross country race. Definitely a miracle! 

Most of you know her story. She has cystic fibrosis, went through brain surgery as a baby, and we did not know if she would ever be able to walk or talk.

Look at her now!

Click on link below:

https://www.facebook.com/ash.heeren1/videos/10101159308610022/

I compared Donna to all of the women at the cross country meet and she was the most beautiful. I think it's her flowing, wavy hair that "gets me!" Kind of like Dyan Cannon's hair used to be, but Dyan's was not natural. 

I guess I'm the luckiest stiff in the world! 

The Joy Of Blogging... Unopposed!

The best thing I like about doing Bloggadocious 222 is that I can opine on ANY subject, in ANY way I want, and no one calls me out on it, except for my lifelong pal, Paul, and he is always kind.

Take the song at the beginning of this blog posting. So many things could be said about it! For instance...

Song was obtained from this movie.

Note: Aunt Jemima is in this movie!!

"That song is from 1934, it's old and it sucks!

"Why are you ALWAYS putting songs on your blog? We NEVER listen to them!"

"This song doesn't apply in 2020! It's much worse now than in 1934!"

"Are you putting songs on your blog because you can't think of anything intelligent to write, ya big dummy!!"

Yes! All of these nasty things could be placed in the handy dandy comments section, but 99.9% of you refrain from doing so, to spare my itty bitty fewwings! What a rewief! I mean, relief!

Shoot, I could say that Barry Manilow is the greatest musician, singer/songwriter in the history of man/womenkind and 99.9% of you would not oppose me on that, even though it's obviously a radically false statement!

Although, he was GREAT on Murphy Brown!

SO, the point of this is, um...THIS! 

It's sometimes a bit frustrating, but also cool, that 99.9% of you DON'T respond to whatever I put on my stupid blog, because, any loss of sleep I suffer over the commenting desert I've created, is balanced out by being able to say ANYTHANG I want, with no opposition!!

Does that make sense to YOU? 

Anyone? Anyone?!

Seriously folks! If you did not listen to the first song, you're missin' out!!